It's been too long...

As I was posting a link to share this blog with a support group I recently joined I decided to look at it myself. I was surprised to see that I have not written anything in almost a year. The second angelversary is fast approaching and like last year the anxiety seems to get worse with everyday that it comes closer. I can only hope that it comes and goes the same as it did then. I went back and forth with what exactly I wanted to do for his birthday. I had a lot of people tell me it would be strange to have a party at his grave and that maybe just a visit would be better. But, if you know me then you know I don't really care what other people think of me and my decisions. So we had the party anyway, right there at the cemetery, complete with balloons and cake and gifts! It was what I wanted to do and I didn't care what anyone thought. I had my close friends and family there and we all celebrated the short life of that amazing little man and it wasn't strange at all. I (actually my mother-in-law) recently discovered that someone has taken some things from Noah's grave that were put there by his grandparents and the thought that someone would walk up to a child's grave and steal from him made me sick. I was a total wreck that day. I can only hope that they will see the wrong in what they did and that God and Karma will handle it for me.